No Rush to the Hospital

It wasn't really a special day. Nothing new had happened to have me predict what that evening would hold. I cleaned the house and went for a walk, and was planning on going to a friends house for dinner that night.

I was past due with our baby boy, James. I was feeling restless, but not to bad. When I woke that Saturday morning I was a little wet, but didn't really think anything of it, I mean I am over due with a baby sitting on my bladder.

I showered and got on with my day. I noticed that I was leaking all day long, so I decided that I would call the doctor's office. I was told to call the hospital to see if they had a bed that I could use. I did... they did.

I wasn't contracting and I felt really good, so I took my time getting ready. We dropped off our drinks at my friends house and left to the hospital.

I remember Steve saying this was not how he pictured going to the hospital with our first one. He wanted to be rushing down the road, honking and swerving to get to the hospital on time.

It wasn't like that.

We walked in and I was checked, and my bag of water had torn... not broken completely, but enough to be leaking amniotic fluid, and had been for a while. So I was admitted.

After some discussion it was determined that I had been leaking for more than 24 hours. Now because there was a risk of infection I was given penicillin right away, and it was suggested that I be put on pictocin as well to hurry things along. At that point I hadn't yet started having contractions.

They must have cranked up the pictocin because I remember seeing one nurse in the room, and the next thing that I new there was a whole team of people in there. I had passed out. I think it was just to much to fast. And I got an epidural.

The epidural was nice, except I could feel every contraction on my left side, until it was fixed.

The hours passed... and passed... every time I was checked I had only dilated a half of a centimeter. I labored through the night and in Sunday morning things still weren't progressing very fast.

A doctor came in and broke my water completely and there was meconium in the fluid.

A little before lunch time {about 16 hours after we got there} I was checked again and was still only at an 8, I was told that I could labor for another 45 minutes before they would prep the OR for a C-section.

The nurses came in and said that I could do a couple practice pushes, and that must have opened me up a little more because soon I was in full pushing mode.

My friend EmilieAn came in to help with the labor and to be my extra support. At one point Steve was holding my leg and dropped it. I was so worried that not only could I not feel my leg but now I couldn't see it either!

I pushed for about 2 hours. I was able to push even with an epidural, but I couldn't tell what progress... if any was being made.

Finally!!! I was told that he was crowning and to stop pushing for a minute. I was so confused... but I later found out that James had his hand on his head when he was born so I birthed his head arm and shoulder all in one.

After a few more pushes he was out. The cord was cut and he was placed on my chest. He didn't cry at first so they took him to suction him out a little more because of the meconium, they wanted to make sure he hadn't aspirated any. After everything was cleared away he was given back to me.

I looked down at my chunky little baby. He was 9 pound, 10 ounces and 22.5 inches long. He was a huge baby. He came with rolls and big checks and big blue eyes. I remember looking at him and him looking at me. And there we were just trying to figure each other out. Time stopped and at that time I don't remember there being anyone else in the world except he and I.

Sunday afternoon on a sunny day in December, James made me a mom.

It is the best job that I have ever had, and I'm so glad it started with James.

The Orange Bowl

We have these bowls that the boys like, they are the kind with the straw attache to them. I bought them years ago when James was about 3. I bought one blue, one red and because orange was his favorite color I bought an orange one.

The orange bowl soon became his favorite bowl and used it all the time.

As the other boys got bigger we added a few more of the same type of bowls to our collection, but oddly enough I couldn't ever find another orange bowl.... I really didn't think anything of it.

Until one day I was awaken by an argument over a bowl. I walked into the kitchen to see one  bowl, and three boys. Clearly they were having an issue of some sort, only in my half awake state I couldn't figure out what the problem was.

I heard something about a bowl and cereal and such so I walked over to the cupboard and got out two other bowls of the same kind... just a different color.

The look I got was not pretty.

Immediately, Tommy grabbed the orange bowl, and James and Tim began to be upset.

Really.... were my children fighting over a bowl??? All of the bowls were the same... just a different color. And yet... they were.

After some trial and error to keep the fighting to a minimum over this silly orange bowl we decided that the bowl can only be used in the month of the persons' birthday.... James' birthday is in December.... he can only use the bowl that month. This works out pretty well because they are all born in different months.

Even now... years later they all look forward to their birthday month and the freedom to use the orange bowl all month long.

The funny thing now is.... that is the bowl that Benji wants all the time. I'm not sure what super powers this bowl brings.


I have tried to look for more of the same orange bowls.... but to no avail... I can find every other color but not orange. 

And now I wait...

Today I am 40 weeks pregnant with our little one. Nothing is happening, and I'm sure the day will pass just like the others have.

I feel ok about this and even glad.

I was thinking back to before I got pregnant with James. I wanted a baby, but really only because I knew it was time for us to start a family. And looking back at how fast Tommy and Tim came right after it was wisdom and the Lord's timing that we had all three boys so closely together.

When Steve came home from Afghanistan he told me that he felt like we needed to have another baby. I was a little apprehensive because it had been a while since I was pregnant, and I was really scared to have another NICU baby. I had also passed on all of my baby stuff, and we were getting ready to move across the USA for Steve to start Chiropractic school. I was happy with 3, very content and things worked well. After praying about it myself I knew that Steve was right and we needed to have another, and I knew it was going to be a boy.

After Benji was born... via C-section.... my body didn't heal like I wanted it too, nor as quickly as I would have like.

Benji got older and I loved my time with my little B.

Then I started getting that feeling. It was a different feeling than I have had with all the rest. Like a missing almost. I had a feeling that I was missing some one. And a longing for someone. After pondering and praying about it I knew that we needed to have another baby. I was happy and content with the 4 that I had, but I knew that someone was missing from my arms.

I got pregnant again, and this time it was so different, I was so sick and I cried every day. Why??? I didn't understand why this was so different. Why couldn't I handle this morning sickness like I had all the rest. All the thoughts went through my head from it being twins to even a girl, but deep down inside I knew we were having another boy.

I welcomed the thought of another boy, and was glad.

I am so excited, scared, overwhelmed, happy, nervous and everything else about having this baby. I wonder if my body can do it. I wonder if I can do it.

I know I can.

This baby boy is meant for our family. He is meant for me. He is needed here. And I look forward to looking into his eyes. And I know that they will be eyes that I have seen before. I know that I am meant to be his mom, and I am excited to be able to have the calling to raise this new little boy.

I hope that he is longing for me as much as I am for him. I hope that he will be patient with me as I raise him.

I am thankful to be a woman. I feel so blessed to be able to bring children into this world. What a grand responsibility I have to bring children from heaven to earth. I really hadn't ever thought about it but I am the vessel to bring children from one side of the veil to the other.

 I feel like I have been nesting a lot, but nesting in more of a spiritual way than actually cleaning. I could have easily opted for another C-section, and called it good. {and if that were the case I would be holding my baby right now I am sure} But I have decided that I want to deliver naturally. I want to be in the moment when my baby is born. I want to feel the new life pass through me.

And I want to be the first one to hold this baby after he leaves heaven.

Hard Core

For Christmas my girlfriend sent some mustaches for the boys. Well... Tommy was the only one that was game to put it on.

I told him to give me a mean look....

I'm pretty sure that's good enough to get into any motorcycle group!

Better Than A Super Hero

I am convinced that when brothers get along they are better then Super Heros! Now don't get me wrong, we definitely have our moments where people are put in opposite ends of the house, but we also have days where they all get along and love spending time with each other.

Benji is learning to build relationships with his brother and has really taken to Tim. If Tim is not out side with the big brothers he is doing something with Benji, and I know that Benji loves the attention from him.

 Coloring together

Helping Benji get dressed... this usually ends up with all of them on the floor laughing.

Benji has decided that he like to sleep with Tim, and Tim is a snuggler so I'm sure he doesn't mind.

 I love the way that Benji already looks up to Tim

 And how Tim is so willing to help him along

And taking his hand to lead him.

I have been blessed with some amazing boys and as much as they drive each other crazy, I know they love each other.

My Bags are Packed

I feel like I am ready to go... I have my bags packed and now I am just waiting for baby to make his entrance into this world.

I have been to the hospital 4 times.... so I feel pretty confident that I am ready for what I may need... do you want to see what is in my bag and make your own checklist so you don't forget anything.

First I have three bags... One for me, one for baby, and one for Benji. The other boys are big enough to handle themselves and what not... anyway I'll explain more when we get there.

 I have a bag for Benji, it has diapers, an outfit, and a sippy cup. I also have a schedule for him, and a quick info for the other boys. Whether the person sticks to the schedule for Benji is not a big deal, but at least they know what to expect from his behavior. I know that the sippy cup isn't a real big thing but it's his favorite so I put it in there. If he is not wearing pj's when he is dropped off I will throw those in too and his blanket as well.

Here is what I packed for me I found a small travel case with shampoo, conditioner, tooth paste, tooth brush, body wash and deodorant. {I found it in the travel section at Target} There are also Q-tips, face wipes, lotion, a hair clip and band, chapstick {not pictured} antibacterial wipes and hand sanitizer, a brush, a loofa, Altoids, and a small travel shaving kit.... vain... probably.... but I intend to shave my legs as soon as I can see them again.

I have a couple pair of socks, underwear, nursing bras, and some comfortable clothes... nothing exciting.

Again I have a check list for my bag too. Just reminders of things to grab on the way out the door... My insurance card, my camera, slippers, a water bottle, my phone and charger, my glasses, and contacts and the case. I will also throw another comfy outfit when we are ready to leave, but nothing else fits me so I'm wearing what I will put in the bag.

Here is what I put in the baby's bag... Vaseline {if you put this on the baby's bum it makes cleaning off the meconium easier} nail clippers.... {Benji had really long finger nails, and the hospital wouldn't let me use any nail clippers on him because I might cut his fingers.... this time I'm bringing my own.} There are nursing pads, Lanolin, a bracelet {so I can remember what side I nursed on last} and binki's, just in case he doesn't like the ones that the hospital has.

Then there is an outfit for his ride home, socks, mitten, and a couple blankets.

Isn't this blanket so cute!! A really good friend of mine made it. You can get some really great stuff {for some really good prices!} at her facebook store Peek-a-Boo Covers.

I took a picture of this cute little outfit that I bought for our new little one, and I couldn't believe how small it was. This really puts it in perspective... Benji's onesie is under the sleeper.

And lastly... I wrote letters to each of the boys. I'll have Steve give the letters to each of the boys after when he comes home. In each letter I wrote a memory that I had of each of them when they were a baby, I told them about the talents and attributes they have. I told them how I have loved there help with Benji, and that even with the chaos of new baby I need them to come and hug me every day.

So there you have it  pretty simple and easy. I don't feel like I need a whole lot, and keeping it simple means there is less to forget.

.... I am ready to go when ever this guy decides to make an appearance.

New Shoes!!!

Tim is number 3 in our family. And because of that, and how close he and his brothers are he gets lots of hand-me-downs. I don't think he minds much, and when I do shop for the other boys I am always sure to pick up something new for him. Usually a t-shirt that he likes or something.

He had been complaining about his shoes being tight and hurting his feet. So we went to Target to find him some shoes that would fit him better.

He found what he liked, we bought them and that was that.

Until I really thought about it. Up until now the boys just pass things down, but now they are starting to wear things out before the next one can wear it.

There were no shoes waiting for Tim to wear.... this was the first time {in all 6 of his years} that he had brand new shoes!! How does that happen???

Every time they got passed down to him the shoes that he had were in good condition, nothing bad and he loved having a variety of things to wear. I just couldn't believe that I had never bought him shoes before!

I guess that's what happens when you are one of many.... I will definitely pay more attention and make sure that along with the hand-me-downs that there are new things {like shoes} thrown in there too.

Poor Baby Jesus...

Years ago I bought this little glass nativity from the Dollar Store. It wasn't much but I like the simplicity of it. Last year we lost poor Joseph in the move.

This year things did not go well for the baby Jesus.

Let me say that James has good intentions... he tries really hard to be careful, but you know how some people are accident prone.... that's James. Poor guy.

So.... we were hanging out as a family one night. The TV was on, I was doing dishes and Steve was wiping the table.

All of a sudden there was a shriek from the family room... "OH MY GOSH!!! I JUST BROKE BABY JESUS!"

 and James was on the floor trying to salvage what was left of the poor Christ child.

He was so distraught.

And I.... I tried hard not to laugh.

He tried to gather all the pieces to fix it for me but it was glass and there was no way to fix it.

It was an accident, and it was fine. He felt bad enough for breaking  baby Jesus, but I will never forget the way it came out!

Twas Christmas

Christmas time at our house was pretty mellow this year. I have just been so tired lately that I really didn't put much effort into it.

I also didn't realize that the boys now expect certain traditions that we have started to carry on regardless of how tired I am. And honestly I am thankful that they made me follow through.

Every year on Christmas Eve, we decorate a ginger bread house. We build it that day and then they are allowed to eat it all day Christmas

 I was pretty impressed this year... they worked really hard together and I think they did a pretty good job.

Every year Steve reads "Twas the Night Before Christmas" in a Scottish accent. Even when Steve was over seas he would call on Christmas Eve to read the book over the phone for the boys. Again, something that they have come to expect and I love that we do it.

This year I thought of something funny that we are going to do every year.

We decided to move the tree in the middle of the night into the other room. We wanted to see what the reaction would be when they come down the stairs in the morning to find.... nothing!

However... it backfired on us when with out us knowing, James snuck down stairs in the wee hours of the morning to see if Santa really had come. Then he prepped every one to where the tree would be. Next year though... we will be better prepared to deal with little boys who seek out of their rooms...

Here is what they woke up to this year... nothing big, but a lot of fun. Santa brings a stocking full of goodies {no socks and underwear here} and their favorite cereal... the kind that mom won't buy.

{I think we need one more strand of lights for the bottom of the tree}

Here we are in the morning, the boys were told that they couldn't open presents until 6:00 in the morning... this way we - Benji got more sleep. And it actually was nice too... everyone was happy when they were awake!

Another tradition.... Santa leaves candy canes on the tree. Benji couldn't care less about presents with "candy corns" on the tree... in his reach... and able to open.

There were weapons to be had this year. Everyone got a nerf gun to shoot each other in the house, Tommy got a Darth Maul lightsaber that he has been practicing with...

And James promised not to shoot his eye out

With his Red Rider BB gun.

It was a good year. Our Christmases are not ever really big, but they are fun. We always enjoy each other and the memories that are made.

2012 will go down as the year mom was too tired to make muffins, when Benji got pink eye, and 200 nerf bullets on the floor.

Piano Man

Tommy has been playing the piano for about 9 months now. He has really come a long way and is doing so well. He is really enjoying playing and is even starting to write some of his own music.

In December he had his first recital and was so excited {and a little nervous} to be playing in front of people. But he did a great job!

He played "Jingle Bells", and "Christmas Parade" He did wonderfully! I am so proud of him!

Playing for us all. His teacher has three students and so there were three rather big families there to preform in front of.

I can't get this boys to have a normal picture to save his life!!

Oooo I got one that good. Silly boy!

I can't wait to hear him progress through this next year! I'm sure he will be amazing!