50 Things for her to know

I was able to watch Women’s Conference this year with my sister Erika. This year all the women and girls ages 8 and up were invited to go. It was neat to see all the mom’s with their daughters sitting together, and singing together.

I am getting more and more excited to have this little girl and to share nights like this with her.

I was also thinking about all the things that I want her to know…. All the things that I need to teach her, and things that I would like her to learn.

1 You are a daughter of God

2 Your worth is not dependent on what others think of you

3 Learn how to cook, and experiment in the kitchen

4 Ask for help when you need it

5 Learn to put on make-up that brings out your beauty

6 Never apologies for who you are

7 Get an education

8 Study what you love and what you are passionate about

9 Fight like hell for what you believe in

10 Never let a boy come between you and your brothers

11 Live with purpose

12 Learn how to mow a yard

13 and change a tire

14 and the oil in your car

15 Best friends may come and go, that’s ok

16 Always keep the secrets that are told to you even if you are not friends anymore

17 –unless it is something dangerous, then tell someone

18 Dance in the rain

19 Exercise your body, keep it healthy and fit

20 Have an opinion, you can always change it- but have one

21 Try different foods

22 Learn to use a gun

23 Plan your life around you and not the man you might marry

24 Go ice skating

25 Learn to take a compliment

26 Some things are with you forever…. Think long and hard if you really want that tattoo

27 Live on your own, even for a short time

28 Help others that are in need

29 Don’t read romance novels

30 I will always be here for you…. even if it to get you from the party that you weren’t suppose to go to

31 Be kind to people

32 Always find a bra that fits

33 A boyfriend doesn’t define who you are

34 Keep your head up

35 A beautiful soul needs a strong body

36 Drink water every day

37 Feel what you are feeling, don’t hide from it

38 Well fitting and modest is always better than to small and to tight

39 What others say is right, is not always right

40 Put $20 in your winter coat… it will be a great surprise next season

41 People will let you down

42 You will make mistakes as you grow

43 I will make mistakes too

44 We will both learn from them

45 Don’t ever fight for acceptance

46 There is a limit on “self-ies”

47 Sex will not fix or hold together a relationship

48 It’s ok to fail… you will learn from it

49 You are loved!

50 You are wanted!

Where he was the day that you were born

Tommy turned 9 this past week.  9 years old! In the middle of chaos it seems to drag on and on, but looking back the time has gone so fast. He was so little... and butter ball-y. He was bald for a good year, and he had the bluest eyes.

Tommy is my March baby. He was also a huge surprise. Steve and I were not trying to get pregnant... in fact it was far from our minds. He was in Military training in Arizona and James was only 6 months old. After Steve was done training we headed back to Utah to figure out what to do... and 3 days later Steve was notified that he would be going overseas to Iraq.

I was 6 months pregnant when Steve left.

It was an easy pregnancy for the most part. I think part of that was because I was only 24. James had just turned a year old, and I was managing well.

I decided to be induced.

With Steve away, me being induced made it easy for him to be involved. He took the day off and sat by the phone.

The morning I was to go to the hospital I was feeling really good, but a little nervous. I dropped James off at my sister's house and my mom took me to the hospital.

I got to my room and got hooked up to everything. I honestly didn't want to be induced. I was with James and it was horrible, but I didn't want to chance Steve missing anything.

After the pictocin  was on I asked for an epidural and just rested.

My mom was there, and my dad came too. It was nice to have the company. And then... we waited. And waited.

I talked to Steve off and on through out the morning, and the nurses that answered the phones got to know him really well too.

About 2:00 I started to feel really uncomfortable and had the urge to push. I told the nurse and she checked me.... He was coming.

The room turned busy with everyone getting things ready, my doctor was called and people were in place.

It was a pretty painless labor and delivery {thanks to the epidural} and in a few pushes, he was here.

My little Tommy was born. He was 8 pounds 8 ounces, and 21 inches long. The doctor put him on my chest and I got to look into some pretty blue eyes. Tommy was quiet, very alert but quiet. Then one of the nurses held the phone up to my ear.... it was Steve. I told him that we had another healthy baby boy... and then Tommy started crying. And so did Steve. He had called just in time to hear Tommy's first cry.

The nurse took him to be weighed and measured. They brought him back to me and I fell in love all over again.

My mom and dad had a turn holding him while I got cleaned up and my dad noticed something.... that my little Tommy had the same turned down ear that he has. It was actually really funny because my Tommy is named after my dad, and to think that this was something that they had in common was neat.

The first couple days in the hospital with Tommy was hard. He stopped breathing for a little while and turned blue... I called the nurse but by the time she got there he was fine. He was a good nurser and loved sleeping balled up on my chest. {and even at 9 he still sleeps in a ball}

Soon after he was born Steve sent me a song that was written by a couple National Gaurds Men that were in Iraq as well. He said that this song explains how he felt the day that Tommy was born.

The Day that you Were Born

by J.R. Shultz

It's 3am and I'm wide awake, 

They say I'm going to be a daddy today, 

but I can't be there, 

And my heart is torn. 

A million thoughts running through my head, 

Wonder if I'll be a good dad, 

You know I ain't never done this before.

I heard you cry, and I couldn't help to shed a few myself, 

But I'm smiling through the tears, 

The world stood still as I held the phone, 

And suddenly I wasn't alone, 

And all those miles seem to disappear.

And I'm 7,000 miles away, 

And all I can do is pray,

To God that every things going to be alright, 

All alone I'm walking the floor, 

Surrounded by this war, 

That's where I was the day that you were born.

Now I don't mean to come off like I'm, 

Feeling sorry for myself, 

But some times it don't seem fair, 

Daddy's running off left and right, 

And I'm stuck here tonight, 

When all I want, Is to be there.

And I'm 7,000 miles away, 

And all I can do is pray, 

to God that every things going to be alright, 

All alone I'm walking the floor, 

Surrounded by this war, 

That's where I was the day that you were born.

When I finally close my eyes at night, 

Drifted off into a dream, 

It was as real as a dream could be, 

I picked you up and held you close, 

Then suddenly I wake up to reality.

And I'm 7,000 miles away, 

and all I can do is pray, 

To God that every things going to be alright, 

All alone I'm walking the floor, 

Surrounded by this war, 

That's were I was the day that you were born.... 

You've been my son since the day that you were born.

It was hard not having Steve there to hold my hand. And every time that we have had anther baby I count my blessings that Steve is there with me, by my side. I know when Tommy was born Steve wanted to be there. I know that he was doing the best he could by waiting by the phone. 

Tommy has grown now and the military is behind us. 9 years have come and gone. This boy who cam into the world on a beautiful spring day has been a joy to my life. He is smart and funny and loves to still sit close to me all curled up in a ball. 

I love you Tommy!

The first time I met her

About 5 weeks after I had Swim was when I first met her.

While I was pregnant with Swim I knew we were to have one more. It was an odd feeling, because normally I just have "that" feeling after we have one, knowing that at some point we need to have another. After Tim it was a long time before I had that feeling. After Benji it was just over a year.

But she was different. I knew long before Swim was with us that we were to have one more after him.

I was washing dishes one afternoon. The house was mostly quiet with just a low TV noise in the background. James was at the table eating something.

I was washing dishes and watching the winter birds in the backyard. And I hear "Mama, mama." I turn and look around. No one else was there except James.... he doesn't call me Mama.

I went back to washing dishes, and again I heard "Mama, mama" this time when I turned to looked I asked James if he needed anything. He said no. I asked him if he called me.... he said no.

James got up from the table and walked out of the room, and I heard the voice one more time. "Mama"

I knew who it was. It was the last little one that was to come to our family. It was as if she was just reminding me not to forget her. I had no idea that it was a little girl, just a little one that needed to make the needs of coming to our family known.

I remember saying in a voice out loud, "I know you are there, you won't be forgotten, but you have to wait a little longer"

I know this little girl has been waiting her turn for a while now. She didn't want to be left out of our family.

Even now I feel her impatiences as she moves and squirms. It's as if she is letting me know that she is running out of room. She moves and wiggles when the boys are loud as if she is wanting to play a long.

Little girl I know you are there, and I will meet you soon.