My Time Grows Near.

Even though I  feel like I'm going to go aver my due date {January 14th} it's now counting down the days, rather than the weeks of our new arrival.

I am looking forward to it. Probably more with this one than any of the other ones. I feel ready. I am packed, the clothes are washed the boys are pretty good on doing chores on there own and I have the promise of Steve for 2 weeks after the birth.

And yet I am sad... I am not ready yet to give up my baby. My little Benji.

The other boys are so close to each other that I really didn't have a chance to react before another newborn was placed in my arms. And when Benji came home Tim wasn't a baby any more and didn't need me like Benji still does.

His smile is so catching, and if he is not smiling, he is thinking... figuring something out.

He wants so much to be like his big brothers but when it come right down to it, I think he likes knowing that he is taken care of by them, and still fits perfectly in my arms.

He loves to talk!! And he is so funny about it. He will come up to me and say "Hold you, hold you mom", when he sees the lights from the tree or on houses, he comments "Oh my!" {and he will even say "Oh my heck" or "Oh my gosh"} At night time you can hear him asking "Kisses mom, need kisses" {how do you walk away from that??? I tell you}

The blue eyes make me melt every time I see them. 

And he loves to snuggle. I still carry him as much as I can, but he is a mighty boys and gets heavy. But looking at me with those blue eyes ask to "hold you" I can't help it. I love all the boys and I am excited to add another one to the family, and each of them have a special place in my heart, and that goes for this blue eye wonder.

I have been trying to spend extra time with him and I will be sad when he is no longer my baby. He has been just what I have needed. He is has helped me grow as a mom. He has expanded my patience far beyond what I have known.

My little one, I love you!

Family Home Evening

I feel like my life is pretty haphazard sometimes. I feel like things just fall into place {thankfully} sometimes, and other times it's complete chaos.

I feel like sometimes we have a great Family Home Evening, and other times it's just spent yelling at each other. I'm hoping that following Elder Bednar's counsel that we will be blessed if we are consistent and do it every week.
{go here to see what Family Home Evening is...}


I have a little time on my hands while I wait for our new arrival. I don't want to get to deep into school and then stop, so we are on a light schedule with reading and math. And I'm doing a lot of teaching on how to do chores properly. You know... it really is so much easier to just do it all myself, but the boys need to know how to do things properly, and they are learning.

But I digress.... Back to Family Home Evening.

We have a song, prayer, scripture, family counsel, lesson, song prayer, treat.... pretty easy but I feel like there is something missing. There is teaching that is going un-taught and I want to fix that. Not that our Family Home Evening needs to take hours, but sometimes it over so quick that I wonder what the boys got out of it... I wonder what I got out of it.

Tristan over at Our Busy Homeschool has some great ideas, and put together a plan for Family Home Evening that I feel is perfect for our family. And I am excited to put it into action.

First I want to say that I like how we do our Family Home Evening. I like that when the boys are in charge of the lesson, they do it all.... they choose it and present it. Usually they use the gospel art kit and tell the story that goes with the picture that they have picked. I like that it's all them, and not something prepared by me for them to do.

But like I said we need something more.

Along with what we already do, we are going to learn about the Modern Day Prophets, and people from the scriptures. Nothing in depth, but a little about each person. For the modern day prophets we'll learn what was going on in the world while they were presiding and personal things about them. For the people from the scriptures we will learn where we can find them in the scriptures, who they are, and the example that they set for us to follow. We will have a new one every week.

We will be learning a new song every month. Six from the Children's Song Book, and 6 from the Hymn Book. The boys get so excited when we sing a song in Sacrament meeting and they know it well.

We will also be learning and memorizing one new scripture a month. Again six of them are from the Primary theme and 6 are from the Doctrine and Covenants. {we may add more scriptures... we'll see how this goes..}

I need to put it into a calendar and  get a few more things organized but I am excited to start this the first of the year. I'm sure we will still have some FHE that are less then stellar... {I mean who has perfect FHE all the time??} but at least it's something to look forward to each week.

All Aboard!!

While Grandma Johnson was here we went up north a ways to take a ride on the Polar Express.

When we got in the car, the boys had no idea where we were going and just rode along patiently hoping we would give them clues along the way. We didn't.

So when we pulled up to the train station they were all surprised. But nobody more so than Benji! That boy went through the roof! He was so excited!

When we got there we had a little time to spare before our train boarded, so we went to the little train museum that was there and Benji found his two favorite things, dinosaurs and trains... together!

He ran around looking at all the trains and all the models, and I think he was a little overwhelmed at them all.

When we went outside we had to wait a little longer before they boarded and it wall all Steve could do to keep him somewhat contained while standing right next to a real train.

Like all boys they all went through a Train phase, so to actually be on one was exciting for them all.

This was a random picture that I got of Tommy and Steve, and I love it! Two very handsome guys!

James and Tim sat across from us {and everyone had a window seat!}

And Benji.... boy that boy couldn't wait to start going

{even Grandma Johnson was excited}

Once the train was rolling, we were served hot chocolate, and cookies. We listen to a reading of the Polar Express, and sang Christmas carols, the Jolly man himself mad an appearance and handed each boy a bell.

It was a fun night that the boys loved, and I'm glad they got to make some good memories with Grandma Johnson too.

Now every time we watch that movie the boys can say that they to have been on the Polar Express.

{as a side note... it was not all it was cracked up to be. The train went backwards and then forwards through a trailer park of the little town that it was in. The "North Pole" was some halfway decorated houses at the end of the tracks and the boys asked why Santa had plastic deer that he was standing next too.... It was fun and I know they enjoyed it, but maybe next year we'll look for a different Polar Express}

The Road Trip of Body Fluids

Just as a warning this is all gross... there are no pictures {you are welcome} but looking back it already was a pretty funny trip....

So we are on our way to Florida the the big day... the final day... the Graduation! We left really early on Tuesday because Steve needed to check out of school later that day.

We got into the car, said a prayer and we were on our way. I asked about Dramamine for Tim because he gets car sick. We figured that it had been awhile since he last threw up in the car we were probably good. For the most part the trip was uneventful the boys read books, we listen to music {80's Pop} and just enjoyed each other company.

I told the boys that as soon as we crossed the Florida state line that they could play Angry Bird on the Tablet.

Now normally I pack some Gallon size Ziplock backs for those just incase moments. Well of course this time I forgot... they were sitting on the table and just didn't make it into the car. We were about an hour away from Port Orange and that's when it happend

Tim looked up and said, "Mom, I don't feel good" -"Are you going to throw up??"- "Yes".... In all my pregnant glory I jumped back into to backseat and frantically looked for something... any thing. There was nothing. I grabbed Tim's blanket, because at least it would contain some of the mess, and out it came. Once... and then twice.

Steve pulled over, and Tim got out. he was able to walk around a bit, and he felt better and we changed seats around to give him a little more room and more air.

Thankfully we were staying with friends, and the first thing I did was a load of wash!

Oh if that was all of it....

That night Tim was bothered by his eye. It was a little crusty, but I just thought he was tired and by morning he would be fine. Well.. I woke up to a little boy whose eye was crusted shut. After a warm washcloth and helping him peel it apart it was determined that he was the lucky recipient of Pink Eye!! Yes on vacation, staying with friends and he had pink eye.... Thankfully {again} the friends we were staying with, Virgina and Anthony... well he is a Nurse Practitioner and was able to confirm my diagnoses and  put in a prescription for him that day. I kept it under control and was so vigilant about having Tim wash his hands that fortunately it didn't spread... not to them, not to any of the brothers! {which I was genuinely surprised about}

The rest of the time we were in Florida things were pretty smooth. And then there was the trip home.

I'm not sure what happened. Maybe it was all the eating out, or the junkfood or a combination of the two, but poor Tommy. We were about half way home when he started to panic. And not just any panic but the kind you know when it's not going to end well. I had bags ready this time just in case, but a ziplock bag was not going to help him. A poor cry came from the back seat... "Mom... I need to go to the bathroom... I have to poop" -"Ok, we'll pull over when we can"- "No, I really need to go now" -"well we have about 3 miles until we can pull over for you"- "Mom!!! It's coming!!!" -"HOLD IT TOMMY!!!"- "I CAN'T!!"..... "I didn't..." poor kid.

We were finally able to pull over, he got cleaned up and dignity was restored.

Benji did not want to be left out and peed through his diaper, and had a very wet car seat. And picked a scab and had a bloody foot.

James not to be out done... felt sick as well... fortunately it was a false alarm and he made it home without incedent.

I'm sure the boys will look back on this and laugh about it, but for now, poor Tommy get's really panicy if he can't get to the bathroom right away.

Merry Christmas from Us!!

 

Merry Christmas from the Grammers!!

{Well, this is as good as it's going to get this year...}

We had a great year and new adventures where had.... her is our top 10

1. We found out in May that we are expecting again, and June we found out that we are expecting BOY #5! We expecting his arrival in January.

2. I am still homeschooling, and this is our 4th year and we are still enjoying it.

3. Tommy started piano lessons this year and is doing great!

4. Tim learned how to ride a bike, and now is a crazy two wheeler rider and loves it.

5. Benji's vocabulary has exploded and he will talk and talk to you all day long. He loves to sing, he love dinosaurs, trains and fire stations.

6. James is still playing the violin, and was able to play in a children's symphony in the summer.

7. We moved... again... to North Carolina, after lots of thought and many prayers we decided that we are to be in North Carolina. Steve is working in a great office.

8.The boys and I have started GeoCaching and it has been so fun, the boys love finding treasure, and are really good at it.

9.We have had a year of no stitches or broken bones! Pretty good with 4 boys!

10. Steve GRADUATED!! He is officially a Doctor now! 3 years have paid off! {now we have the grand opportunity to pay back all the school loans that we have acquired}

It's been a wonderful year. We are looking forward to 2013 with open hearts and minds. We are looking forward to meeting our newest member and welcoming him to the family. I hope that the new year is a joy for you as well with lots of love and happiness.

We love you all!!

{hopefully next year there will be an actual card in the mail!!}

He's a Doctor!!

After 3 years, and blood-sweat & tears... literally... Steve is done. He is graduated! When we started this journey I was sure that we would be in Florida forever! I thought that it would be forever that Steve would be studying or going to classes. 

And at the time it did seem like forever, but now that it's done looking back it all went so fast!

And just so it's out there... I do take credit for this as well. I know that Steve went to class and had to take the tests and stuff... but seeing that we have a family Steve really couldn't have done it with out me. The certificate may have his name on it but I will claim it as my own as well.

We met some incredible people on our journey some our favorites were Jason and Jenny. They became like family to us. Jason and Steve were in class together and Jenny became one of my best friends. They have loved our boys like their own. 

Jenny and Jason with the boys.... even though they don't look it the boys love them and were so excited to see them one last time before they head to Italy!

I will miss this wonderful friend.

Steve's mom was able to come out to see the graduation. It was nice having Grandma Johnson visit us. I was so happy to see the boys make some good memories with Grandma Johnson.

Really.... I'm not sure what is up with my boys when they take pictures... the whole smile thing... what ever... this is my crazy family, and I love them!

I am so stinkin' proud!! He worked so hard and gave so much to do well.

I think he was nervous but trying not to show it. This is the last moments before real life... before a real job, and the dreaded student loans...


After lots of pictures... {with a baby who didn't get a nap by the way...} We walked in and sat down, we had some good seats and were ready to watch the ceremony. I had snacks, and sippy cups, and what ever miscellaneous and random things I could find in my purse.

Well... the 3 boys were very good, and sat and watched the people walk across the stage, many who they knew and became friends with as well. I think that was fun for them. Benji on the other hand, wanted to talk to me about the dinosaurs and the trains... and that lead to dirty looks from those around me. I took Benji into the cry room, I could see and hear what was going on and Benji could talk away... or use the entire time to try to escape out the door.

Then it came time for all the graduates to walk across the stage and accept their diploma. I stepped out to take a few pictures. Benji didn't want to be in the room with out me. I open the door and off he took. So to avoid further distraction from the traveling circus that we turned into, I picked him up and attempted to take pictures with him in my arms...

yeah... it didn't work so well.

I'm sure he thought he was being helpful... 

It was a good day, and one that I'm sure we will all remember.

Congratulations Steve! I am so proud of you and for the hard work that you put into your schooling and juggling the time with studying and a family and church callings as well. You are and good man and I am so lucky to be married to someone with so much ambition. I truly look forward to this next adventure!

Nine whole years

Nine years ago a baby boy was placed into my arms. He had big blue eyes and really chubby cheeks, and just looked around at the world that was before him. And then, he looked at me, and I fell in love

James has grown from a baby then toddler into a really great kid, nine years have seem to fly by so fast. We have had so many changes in his short life time. 

When he was born I could smell the Pacific Ocean out my front door. Here we are now, all the way on the east coast, so far away and so long ago from the place and time he was born.

And those blue eyes that peered up at me the moments after he was born, have now turned the most amazing colors. A hazel on the inside and a striking blue on the outside, what a lucky boy to have eyes unlike any others.

In many ways he is still a child, the way he laughs, the way he plays, the way he enjoys the little things in life. In other ways I am seeing the young man he will become, in the way he takes care of his brothers, in the way he is learning to follow through on the things asked of him, and in the way that he walks when he is sure of something that he knows to be true.

It won't be long now until that boy that I see every day and hug every day will grow into a young man. 

It will be his will and determination that will carry him through in life. It will be his thirst for knowledge that will lead him to the truth that is around him. And it will be his strength that will help him back up when he faulters as he is finding his own path to follow

He came into this world so eager to be loved and to love in return. He is quick with a hug, and although his is growing so big he is still wanting to cuddle and to feel the compassion that is around him. He is so quick to forgive, and to trust.

The day will come when I will see him walk out my door to set his own course. I hope that at that time I have given him all I can to succeed and to rise. The world is hard and can be somewhat cruel to those that are sensitive by nature, but I know that his strength will pull him through. One day he will leave my arms to put his around someone else. I will be happy for him, but sad that my baby is gone.

He is now half way to 18, half way to a life of his own.

But for now I will hold my nine year old, remembering him as the baby, the toddler and the little boy that he once was. I will laugh with him as we tell jokes and hold hands. I will take this in lock it in my heart.

I love you my James, Happy Ninth Birthday! Thank you for being the best big brother and a great first child!

I have a voice

I am really excited and really nervous to have this little baby {who still has no confirmed name}.

With each of the boys I feel like I was just told what I was to do to have a baby. I decided with this pregnancy I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to have a say it what was going on. I want to trust that my body will know what to do.

For me this is baby #5 and I really have no idea what labor is like. I am in full support for women to have babies how ever they choose it to be C-section, induction, natural, with or without medication. But see.. it's a choice.

Every birth that I have had has not been what I wanted... don't get me wrong, I love the prize that I got at the end, and I am thankful for the healthy baby that was placed into my arms. But nothing went as planned.

With James my bag tore and was leaking amniotic fluid, I went to the hospital and they immediately hooked me up to every machine and was put on potocin {that made me pass out} to get the baby out fast. And then I was told I was on a time limit to have him or he would have to be taken C-section.

With Tommy it was a scheduled induction because Steve was in Iraq... it was a birth of convenience. I wanted Steve to be a part of it, my doctor was going out of town, I had to schedule with other people to take James, it just needed to work for every one.

Tim was just a big mess since I had placenta previa, and he was breech he would have probably been C-section anyway but him coming at 30 weeks, I was pretty much pushed into the operating room as they were telling me what was going on.

And Benji... I didn't have a choice at all. Because my last baby was a C-section there was nothing I could do but plan my due date.

I realize that emergencies happen, I know that there are things that happen that are unavoidable and the results are not what was ideally planned, but I just want to be part of the discussion. It's my body, it's my baby, and I am tired of being talked over like I'm not even in the room. I just want to have a voice in the matter.

I am so thankful that I have found a doctor that will delivery me naturally. There is no set date for me to have a baby by. As long and he and I are both doing fine I can go over my due date for any number of days or even weeks. As long as he and I are fine I can labor for as long as it takes. I know the pros and cons to it all, and I am confident in my choice that I have made. I know that if it does happen to be a C-section, that at least I will be a part of the conversation and the decision {outside of an emergency} will be mine. 

I know that most doctors have the best interest of the patient at heart, and only want what is best. {I'm hoping anyway...} but I think that sometimes we rely to much on what is said with out questioning and sometimes with out knowing all of the facts. We just take what ever pill is offered, we just do what ever is said, and we end up being told how our babies should be born and anything different is not acceptable.

I am looking forward to this new experience and to the choice that I get to make to bring my baby into this world.

Frankenstein

I figured out {I hope} why blogger wouldn't let me add any new pictures. I wanted to add these because Steve did such a good job on his makeup!

He decided that he wanted to go as Frankenstein and he likes things to be just so. He got up so early to start on his make-up.

He used real staples and used a face glue to get them to attach to his head.  I was impressed with how real it looked.

It's nice to see Steve enjoy the holidays a little more, and even get into them like this. And Tommy was excited to trick or treat with his dad because Tommy was "the son of Frankenstein"

Halloween 2012

Halloween is always fun and this year was no exception. There was pumpkin carving, costumes, and of course the all important candy.

I gave my pumpkin googly eyes... and I was quite impressed with all the boys, they all carved their own pumpkins...scraped them out and all. It's fun now that I don't have to do it all for them. 

Benji, was really cute, he sang "Happy Birthday" to each pumpkin as a candle was put in it..

They all looked really good lit up.

Oh, the joy of costumes.... each boy wanted something different and had their minds made up. I know that Halloween is every year on October 31st. but I still feel like it sneaks up on me every year,  leaving me to scramble for costumes for each of the boys.

Tim was a knight... {or Robin Hood} He went through so many costume changes it was hard to keep up with them all. finally... the day before the Trunk or Treat for our church he settled {was gently talked into} this. I had it on had, it was a costume that a friend of mine made for James YEARS ago. Tim really is the only one who likes to dress up so until the costumes reach him they stay in pretty good shape. After Halloween he continued to wear the costume for 3 weeks.

Tommy is {the son of} Frankenstein,  he was pretty easy, and it was nice to just paint his face and add the bolts and call it good. {I would show you a picture of his father, but blogger is not letting me upload any pictures right now.... but Steve's costume was really good!!}

James was the Grim Reaper, again another easy costume with a black robe and a thingy... I don't know what it's called that he holds, so it's a thingy.

And Benji, was.... yeah, I'm not sure. This too was a recycled costume. He looked cute in it and he actually had a sword to go with it too. He didn't cry when I put it on him, and he could move in it without getting tangled, so it was a win-win.

Halloween was fun this year. The boys made out with a ton of candy and were able to have a little more freedom when trick or treating in the neighbor hood. Steve walked behind them and some friends of theirs while the boys went to each door. I stayed behind and walked with Benji. He was really cute he would say "trick or treat" at each door, proceed to stick his fingers in the bowl to grab things out himself, then instead of a nice thank you... he would just say 'more'. Good thing he is 2 and can get away with that.

Maybe next year I'll start early on costumes.... who am I kidding I won't and I'll be scrambling around again... oh well... I guess it's part of the season too.