The unspoken truths

Congratulations!!! You are bringing home your bundle of joy! This new baby will light up your life in ways that you never knew were possible.

With all the "experts" out there telling you everything that you need to know about your new baby I'm going to tell you about the unspoken truths that really happen.

First of all... the only thing that this baby will get from it's parents are its looks. Believe it or not this little blob that you just brought home will grow into its own human. You can try to mold him into a something but ultimately this tiny person has his own personality. Get use to it. If you are super out going you will probably end up with a shy child. If you are so uncoordinated and can barely kick a ball, you'll get a super star athlete. It's just the way it is.

Next.... at some point you really will think your baby has been taken over by a demon. Weird noises will come from your child as well as all sorts of unnatural body fluids and there will be projectile vomiting. You'll swear that he was 12 feet from the wall and yet that is where all the vomit landed. It will pass. And your child will again be your precious little one. It's a right of passage for all new parents to try to figure out where the green stuff that is all over the baby actually came from.

Now well meaning people will tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps.... Two problems with that. If you have more than one child at home good luck with that. As soon as you get the baby to sleep and think you are going to lay down that's when the toddler will figure out how to unlock all 12 locks you have on your front door and escape. Or he will decided that he needs a bath and the toilet already has water in it. No... when you have extra kids at home {who would normally watch TV} with a new baby will all of a sudden need you every second that the baby is sleeping.... even if dad is home. And the other... If baby is the only one you'll think great he's sleeping I'm going to lay down.... Then with out fail every person and the dog will come to the door. You'll get packages, well meaning friends, a stray dog that keeps scratching. Face it sleeping when the baby sleeps is a ridiculous thought.

The term "Baby Proofing" is in my opinion a dumb thought. When have you ever seen a newborn launch himself out of someone's arms to put a knife in an electrical outlet??? Yeah... me neither. Toddler Proofing is a better term. By all means be safe, I'm not saying to leave open flames all over your house and hope that nothing happens. But be realistic in your expectations. If you don't get all the outlets covered and cupboards locked before baby comes home from the hospital it's ok. You'll have time to do that. Besides... all the baby proofing in your home that you do is more to irritate you than it is to keep the child safe. Kids... even little one are smarter than we give them credit for, they are the ones that can figure out the "Child Safety Locks" while we parents have to use a hammer to get things open.

Just don't dress the baby.... I mean in nice clothes any way. It's cute and all but really, the Baby Law states that "If I am in a nice outfit, especially something that is all white, hand made, or an antique I must have a massive blowout that requires a while box of wipes and an bath for both me and the person changing me." I'm serious leave a baby in a onesie or just a sleeper. Nice outfit means poop for days! If you are going to do pictures "try" to trick the child and not get him dressed until 10 seconds before the picture is taken and then quickly undress him. But be advised... they are smart and have supplies ready to handle the unexpected.

Speaking of poop, up until this point all things poop has been a private matter. But as soon as you have a baby it becomes an open topic of conversation. How many times your child does or doesn't poop, the color of it, the smell of it.... yes, you'll go there. And.... you'll be amazed that you will be able to smell your kid from across the room, you'll be able to pick him out from a dozen kids, and know exactly how much he pooped. And when you are having an off day you won't think twice about picking your kid up to smell his butt. {and we always talk about how gross dogs are for smelling butts.... } And then in the toddler years you will celebrating when the little one poops in the toilet. Phone calls will be made, Facebook statuses will be updated. Poop is now a part of your daily life.

Never say "I will never".... You'll eat those words so fast. You say 'I will never let the baby fall asleep in my arms' next think you know you are out on the couch with the baby on your chest while both of you are sleeping because this is how anyone in the house will ever have a chance to sleep again {see reason above for not sleeping} You say 'I will never put a leash on my child' and you will end up with a wandering child that is like Houdini when it comes to escaping.... remember they are their own person. You say 'I will never'... the baby will help you change that.

This is a wonderful time! Babies are awesome!! Except for when they aren't. Don't feel bad if you have a bad day. It's ok to hand the baby off to someone else and go for a walk or take a shower or even have sex with your husband. I'm serious. I had a friend call me and ask me to take her baby for a while because she just needed to be with her husband without feeling guilty that the baby was being unattended in the next room. They cry and sometimes that's all they do for no reason. It will pass... I promise you that you will not send your sweet child off to college still crying for no reason.

Please.... Please.... have realistic expectations for yourself. TV mom are not real, Celebrity moms have help. You are a real person. If all you accomplish today is to brush your teeth celebrate that! The next day..... or month will be better. The mom that you see who seems to have it all put together... Yeah, the truth is she hasn't showered in 4 days and after she got in the car realized that she wasn't wearing shoes. Don't compare yourself with anyone. Babies should bring joy... sometimes they won't... it's true... but comparing yourself to someone else will will NEVER bring joy.

As a mom of 5... soon to be 6 kids the "experts" know nothing.... these are the real things about babies!!

{Tell me what would you add to this list??} 

Tim's a year older

While I was laying on the couch trying not to die.... {ok s that's a bit of an exaggeration...} This amazing kid turned 7!

For his birthday this year he wanted to go to a corn maze. So we found one in Lindon and off we went. It was a fun day out with the boys.

I still look at him and see a tiny baby that was so frail and small. But when I blink, there he is. A boy! And not just any boy, a really great one.

Tim is my snuggler. He will come and sit next to me and rub my arm or play with my hair, or just curl up in my lap.

He is bordering between two worlds right now.  He loves to run with the big kids and play with them, but he still likes all the little kids things like dressing up and being held and carried.

When his feelings get hurt he will not let anyone see him cry. {But when he gets in trouble or doesn't get what he wants he can start crying at the drop of a hat} And his big eyes with the dark hair and dark eye lashes will get him what ever he wants.

He is cute and he knows it and uses it to get him things.... He got a goodie bag and a piece of cake from a birthday party that was at a park that we just went to play at. Just because he was cute and asked if he could play too.

He is sensitive, and very in tune with little ones need.

He is starting to have a really good sense of humor.... but his favorite word is still poop. He'll even say it just to giggle at himself.

Tim is a joy to our family. He really thinks about everyone and tries to make sure that everyone is happy.

Tim I love you!! You are a wonderful kid and you are going to be an amazing young man! Thank you for being such a big part of our family!!

It's just hair.... right???

A funny thing happened in August.... well not totally funny, more like traumatic for a little three year old.

You see... Benji use to have hair like this.

It was thick and course and oh so curly.

Frankly I was jealous of his great hair. 

And then one day Benji found some scissors.

He cut a chunk out of his hair. I could tell but others usually could not. With his hair s fluffy it was an easy cover.

And then.... he found my razor and proceeded to "brush" his hair. I only know that because after he brushed his hair he came out to brush mine.

This time the damage was much more noticeable. There was no covering it this time.

So one night the sadness began.

 All his beautiful curls started falling t the floor.

And then it was done. I think he was more upset at being held still than the actual cut but it was still sad.

Sadly the lesson wasn't all the way learned and he was found "brushing" his hair again a few days later. I too have learned my lesson and all razors are promptly put out of reach after use.

And the fact that he is a boy means that the fix was easy.... I didn't have to blend a missing pig tail or figure out new bangs.

His hair is growing back, because it does that.... and it looks like his curls will emerge again.

I didn't think I was so attached but I was. Hopefully next time he needs a cut it will be a trim and not a hack job.... by him or us.

Looking Back

Good Heavens!!! My how time flies!

I have been busy with some things and other times I am not busy but I am tired and to have to get the computer out and think of what to say is just to much.

I have a quiet moment right now, Steve is at a meeting and all the kids are in bed, so I thought why not dust off the old blog and write again.

{but we are NOT going to talk about the dishes in the sink, or the laundry n the bed..... or the really messy boys' bathroom, or the disaster area {that should be taped off} play room}

Things here have been moving along. The practice is slowly picking up. To slowly for me but all in good time right?? The boys are busy with school. They are enjoying it and enjoying the friends that they are making, but by the time that they get home and finish with homework it doesn't leave a whole lot left in the day for play or even family time. I always look forward to the breaks that they get.

Benji is keeping me busy. He is my little shadow all day. It's weird just having two at home, it makes for some quiet afternoons. There is one thing about winter that I am enjoying. While the weather is cooking down there is almost this unspoken rule that a big blanket needs to be taken out and snuggled under. So while Swim naps Benji and I snuggle.

Speaking of Swim... Holy Moly!!!! That kid is on the move! he has decided that there is need for walking. He is 9 months. He's really cute about it. He'll stand up and take a few steps and then start giggling and fall. Then he gets up and does it again. Oh... and he snorts when he laughs!

Time goes by all to quickly!

For Halloween this year the boys were going to be lego men.... the concept seemed good in my head but the actual conception.... yeah... it didn't work out so well. So we pulled out the old fall back costume that every mother knows of... homeless men, or as what I called them.... hobos.

Have you ever seen Studio C???? It's a clean version or Saturday Night Live. There is a character that is a shoulder angel.... so since Benji likes to ride on Steve's shoulder.... he was the shoulder angel.

Life has taken a quiet turn for the the past couple months. Sometimes it makes me wonder what is coming? But I am trying to enjoy the time that we are at.




{The picture at the top was one that I took while we went hiking. We hiked Stuart Falls up by Sun Dance Ski Resort. I carried Swim in my wrap for all 4 mile and gave him to Steve as we were walking t the car because I was so tired and sore. I thought it was so cute to see him looking over Steve's shoulder looking for me...... The three big boys.... they ran the whole 4 miles and waited for us at the bottom. I love seeing the energy that their bodies have!}