He's a Doctor!!

After 3 years, and blood-sweat & tears... literally... Steve is done. He is graduated! When we started this journey I was sure that we would be in Florida forever! I thought that it would be forever that Steve would be studying or going to classes. 

And at the time it did seem like forever, but now that it's done looking back it all went so fast!

And just so it's out there... I do take credit for this as well. I know that Steve went to class and had to take the tests and stuff... but seeing that we have a family Steve really couldn't have done it with out me. The certificate may have his name on it but I will claim it as my own as well.

We met some incredible people on our journey some our favorites were Jason and Jenny. They became like family to us. Jason and Steve were in class together and Jenny became one of my best friends. They have loved our boys like their own. 

Jenny and Jason with the boys.... even though they don't look it the boys love them and were so excited to see them one last time before they head to Italy!

I will miss this wonderful friend.

Steve's mom was able to come out to see the graduation. It was nice having Grandma Johnson visit us. I was so happy to see the boys make some good memories with Grandma Johnson.

Really.... I'm not sure what is up with my boys when they take pictures... the whole smile thing... what ever... this is my crazy family, and I love them!

I am so stinkin' proud!! He worked so hard and gave so much to do well.

I think he was nervous but trying not to show it. This is the last moments before real life... before a real job, and the dreaded student loans...


After lots of pictures... {with a baby who didn't get a nap by the way...} We walked in and sat down, we had some good seats and were ready to watch the ceremony. I had snacks, and sippy cups, and what ever miscellaneous and random things I could find in my purse.

Well... the 3 boys were very good, and sat and watched the people walk across the stage, many who they knew and became friends with as well. I think that was fun for them. Benji on the other hand, wanted to talk to me about the dinosaurs and the trains... and that lead to dirty looks from those around me. I took Benji into the cry room, I could see and hear what was going on and Benji could talk away... or use the entire time to try to escape out the door.

Then it came time for all the graduates to walk across the stage and accept their diploma. I stepped out to take a few pictures. Benji didn't want to be in the room with out me. I open the door and off he took. So to avoid further distraction from the traveling circus that we turned into, I picked him up and attempted to take pictures with him in my arms...

yeah... it didn't work so well.

I'm sure he thought he was being helpful... 

It was a good day, and one that I'm sure we will all remember.

Congratulations Steve! I am so proud of you and for the hard work that you put into your schooling and juggling the time with studying and a family and church callings as well. You are and good man and I am so lucky to be married to someone with so much ambition. I truly look forward to this next adventure!

Nine whole years

Nine years ago a baby boy was placed into my arms. He had big blue eyes and really chubby cheeks, and just looked around at the world that was before him. And then, he looked at me, and I fell in love

James has grown from a baby then toddler into a really great kid, nine years have seem to fly by so fast. We have had so many changes in his short life time. 

When he was born I could smell the Pacific Ocean out my front door. Here we are now, all the way on the east coast, so far away and so long ago from the place and time he was born.

And those blue eyes that peered up at me the moments after he was born, have now turned the most amazing colors. A hazel on the inside and a striking blue on the outside, what a lucky boy to have eyes unlike any others.

In many ways he is still a child, the way he laughs, the way he plays, the way he enjoys the little things in life. In other ways I am seeing the young man he will become, in the way he takes care of his brothers, in the way he is learning to follow through on the things asked of him, and in the way that he walks when he is sure of something that he knows to be true.

It won't be long now until that boy that I see every day and hug every day will grow into a young man. 

It will be his will and determination that will carry him through in life. It will be his thirst for knowledge that will lead him to the truth that is around him. And it will be his strength that will help him back up when he faulters as he is finding his own path to follow

He came into this world so eager to be loved and to love in return. He is quick with a hug, and although his is growing so big he is still wanting to cuddle and to feel the compassion that is around him. He is so quick to forgive, and to trust.

The day will come when I will see him walk out my door to set his own course. I hope that at that time I have given him all I can to succeed and to rise. The world is hard and can be somewhat cruel to those that are sensitive by nature, but I know that his strength will pull him through. One day he will leave my arms to put his around someone else. I will be happy for him, but sad that my baby is gone.

He is now half way to 18, half way to a life of his own.

But for now I will hold my nine year old, remembering him as the baby, the toddler and the little boy that he once was. I will laugh with him as we tell jokes and hold hands. I will take this in lock it in my heart.

I love you my James, Happy Ninth Birthday! Thank you for being the best big brother and a great first child!

I have a voice

I am really excited and really nervous to have this little baby {who still has no confirmed name}.

With each of the boys I feel like I was just told what I was to do to have a baby. I decided with this pregnancy I wanted to have a voice. I wanted to have a say it what was going on. I want to trust that my body will know what to do.

For me this is baby #5 and I really have no idea what labor is like. I am in full support for women to have babies how ever they choose it to be C-section, induction, natural, with or without medication. But see.. it's a choice.

Every birth that I have had has not been what I wanted... don't get me wrong, I love the prize that I got at the end, and I am thankful for the healthy baby that was placed into my arms. But nothing went as planned.

With James my bag tore and was leaking amniotic fluid, I went to the hospital and they immediately hooked me up to every machine and was put on potocin {that made me pass out} to get the baby out fast. And then I was told I was on a time limit to have him or he would have to be taken C-section.

With Tommy it was a scheduled induction because Steve was in Iraq... it was a birth of convenience. I wanted Steve to be a part of it, my doctor was going out of town, I had to schedule with other people to take James, it just needed to work for every one.

Tim was just a big mess since I had placenta previa, and he was breech he would have probably been C-section anyway but him coming at 30 weeks, I was pretty much pushed into the operating room as they were telling me what was going on.

And Benji... I didn't have a choice at all. Because my last baby was a C-section there was nothing I could do but plan my due date.

I realize that emergencies happen, I know that there are things that happen that are unavoidable and the results are not what was ideally planned, but I just want to be part of the discussion. It's my body, it's my baby, and I am tired of being talked over like I'm not even in the room. I just want to have a voice in the matter.

I am so thankful that I have found a doctor that will delivery me naturally. There is no set date for me to have a baby by. As long and he and I are both doing fine I can go over my due date for any number of days or even weeks. As long as he and I are fine I can labor for as long as it takes. I know the pros and cons to it all, and I am confident in my choice that I have made. I know that if it does happen to be a C-section, that at least I will be a part of the conversation and the decision {outside of an emergency} will be mine. 

I know that most doctors have the best interest of the patient at heart, and only want what is best. {I'm hoping anyway...} but I think that sometimes we rely to much on what is said with out questioning and sometimes with out knowing all of the facts. We just take what ever pill is offered, we just do what ever is said, and we end up being told how our babies should be born and anything different is not acceptable.

I am looking forward to this new experience and to the choice that I get to make to bring my baby into this world.

Frankenstein

I figured out {I hope} why blogger wouldn't let me add any new pictures. I wanted to add these because Steve did such a good job on his makeup!

He decided that he wanted to go as Frankenstein and he likes things to be just so. He got up so early to start on his make-up.

He used real staples and used a face glue to get them to attach to his head.  I was impressed with how real it looked.

It's nice to see Steve enjoy the holidays a little more, and even get into them like this. And Tommy was excited to trick or treat with his dad because Tommy was "the son of Frankenstein"

Halloween 2012

Halloween is always fun and this year was no exception. There was pumpkin carving, costumes, and of course the all important candy.

I gave my pumpkin googly eyes... and I was quite impressed with all the boys, they all carved their own pumpkins...scraped them out and all. It's fun now that I don't have to do it all for them. 

Benji, was really cute, he sang "Happy Birthday" to each pumpkin as a candle was put in it..

They all looked really good lit up.

Oh, the joy of costumes.... each boy wanted something different and had their minds made up. I know that Halloween is every year on October 31st. but I still feel like it sneaks up on me every year,  leaving me to scramble for costumes for each of the boys.

Tim was a knight... {or Robin Hood} He went through so many costume changes it was hard to keep up with them all. finally... the day before the Trunk or Treat for our church he settled {was gently talked into} this. I had it on had, it was a costume that a friend of mine made for James YEARS ago. Tim really is the only one who likes to dress up so until the costumes reach him they stay in pretty good shape. After Halloween he continued to wear the costume for 3 weeks.

Tommy is {the son of} Frankenstein,  he was pretty easy, and it was nice to just paint his face and add the bolts and call it good. {I would show you a picture of his father, but blogger is not letting me upload any pictures right now.... but Steve's costume was really good!!}

James was the Grim Reaper, again another easy costume with a black robe and a thingy... I don't know what it's called that he holds, so it's a thingy.

And Benji, was.... yeah, I'm not sure. This too was a recycled costume. He looked cute in it and he actually had a sword to go with it too. He didn't cry when I put it on him, and he could move in it without getting tangled, so it was a win-win.

Halloween was fun this year. The boys made out with a ton of candy and were able to have a little more freedom when trick or treating in the neighbor hood. Steve walked behind them and some friends of theirs while the boys went to each door. I stayed behind and walked with Benji. He was really cute he would say "trick or treat" at each door, proceed to stick his fingers in the bowl to grab things out himself, then instead of a nice thank you... he would just say 'more'. Good thing he is 2 and can get away with that.

Maybe next year I'll start early on costumes.... who am I kidding I won't and I'll be scrambling around again... oh well... I guess it's part of the season too.

Can you see my toes???

I can't either....

I am 29 week along, I feel really good physically anyways. I'm at that stage now were moving is getting hard, dressing is hard, and my belly is starting to bump into everything.

Moving our household has been hard. And I haven't really had time to think about being pregnant. This poor little guy has been pushed to the back of my mind as we are getting situated. There seems to be so much to to and not enough time {or energy} to get things done.

And we are not totally set on a name.

I am not one who instantly bonds with my baby as soon as I am pregnant. I think that's why I feel like I need to name him {or her} right away.

We have gone through our lists but nothing seems right. People have given suggestions and still... nothing seems to fit. Many people just wait until they have the baby and name him, and I guess I'm in that boat now, although I'm so scared that I'll have him and still not have a clue what his name should be.

I found a good doctor that is willing to let me labor and deliver naturally. After 2 C-sections I really had my work cut out for me in looking for a doctor. I'm excited to at least let my body try. It's strange that after 5 babies I have no idea what is going to happen. Because of each situation I haven't ever gone into labor on my own. This will be all new for me.

I am so excited, yet so scared. I am starting to nest and I always seem to find the weird things to clean... I wish I could feel that passionately about the day to day stuff... but no, it's more like the track for the sliding glass door.... or the baseboards in the closets.

The days are now being counted down until we welcome our new little guy.

On the trail

Steve was off one day so we decided to toss our schoolbooks to the side and go outside instead. It was a beautiful fall day and the colors were just starting to turn. One thing that I have missed is being able to walk the trails. In Florida it's just... HOT and unwelcoming to be outside most of the year. And there really aren't any trails around that are not going to take you through swampy areas... at least I didn't find any. I don't think I was outside long enough to find any though.

We drove a measly 4.5 miles up to a little area that had some great paths. And because Steve was with us we decided to take him on his first GeoCaching adventure. {and because it was one that was more difficult and I didn't know how to program my phone's GPS to what it needed to do}

Along the way we saw this spider that was spinning a huge web. We stopped to watch how carefully and quickly it worked.

Here are my excited treasure hunters out looking for the next box. If you have never tried GeoCaching you should! It's free and so fun! It's like looking for buried treasure. They are all over the US... they are all over the world!!

You can kinda see them here. They are off the trail following the clues and the GPS for the next box. I didn't want to go stomping through all the brush and trees here, and neither did Benji, so we hung back and climb the little hills and rocks instead. I do have to say that James is really good at finding the caches. This one was a multiply cache so each box lead you to the next one, and of the 4 that were there James found 3 of them!

Look at the falling leaves! Watching the leaves make there way to the ground is so memorizing.  

Our little trail that we walked. Total it was about 2 mile, and the boys did great! 

Each person is different and prefers different settings. The beach was nice and was beautiful in it's own way, but I love the desert and the forest. I more at home here than I have since leaving Arizona. I love the beauty of the trees and the smell of the air.

More shots of the beauty that is here in North Carolina

 I love this picture... although I'm not sure who is taking who for a walk. Captain has been the best dog. He drives me crazy most of the time and the hair that is all over my house is insane, but he is so good with the boys. When I walk him he does really well, but if he sees something he will try to run after it. When Benji or Tim try to walk him he doesn't pull away. He doesn't chase anything and he is so patience with them as they are both tangled in the leash.

On last shot of the beauty that we found on our day out. 

Fall is my favorite time of year, but I look forward to seeing the blooming of spring.

{this post is dedicated to my friend Whitney from The King and I..... she likes North Carolina}

Finding Nature

I love nature, I do. I love watching things that are outside in their own environments and seeing how they live.

But my love of nature stops at my door.

The boys, however, keep trying to bring nature in the house. I can usually stop them from entering the house if I am willing to take pictures. {I try to have my camera ready at all times... }

James seems to be really good at catching things....

Here we have a worm snake.... or so I have been told.

This little guy is only about 9 inches long, and didn't seems to mind too much to be held and handled young hands. Although I'm sure he was happy when he was let go.

Another day a toad was found, this guy wasn't as happy to be handled and kept jumping out of the hands he was in. 

James is quick when it comes to catching things... and he is quick to try to bring it in the house... 

Fortunately for me I'm a pretty quick mom and can usually sense a scheme in the works. They now have a couple plastic bucket and things with lids this way all living things can be contained.... for a short time.... so hopefully the wonderful world of nature stays outside, where it ought to be.

Imagination is a great thing

When we first got here, and while we were still living out of boxes the boys were starting to get antsy about getting things out. I didn't want a lot of open boxes if things that were not getting put away.

So the boys took matters into their own hands. They decided that if they couldn't get toys out that they were going to go to Antarctica. And off they went.

They found all of my white and blue towels for ice and water, and found all the cold weather animals so they could observe the habitat that the animals live in.

The boys made sure that they were dressed for the cold environment, and are equip with research material.

Part of the adventure included mountain climbing.... 

Tim needed some help....

A lot of help actually.

But finally they all made it.

It was a good day and ended with a cup of hot chocolate.... how else would one end a day in Antarctica??

Here we are

We are finally here in North Carolina.

We are finally feeling more settled.

We are not totally living out of boxes anymore {but there are a few}

North Carolina is beautiful! There are actually seasons here, and we are feeling the cool weather coming. It is so nice to be able to open the door in the morning and feel the crisp air coming in. {I know it will be different in the summer but don't burst my bubble just yet}

We live in a great house and a really good neighborhood. Our ward is wonderful and the people around are wonderful.

I will get pictures up soon of where we are living, but not now. I need to finish unpacking all the way....

We have had some fun adventures already.

I think our time here.... how ever long or short is going to be great!

The Time Has Come

The time has come to say good bye.

We are leaving here in less than 5 days. The house is filled with boxes and the pictures are off the walls. We were able to spend one more beautiful day at the beach. The boys are going to spend one last day with friends. Things here are coming to an end.

It was a good chapter to write. There were many joys and triumphs, there were celebrations and parties that we joined in. There was also heart ache and tears, and days that getting out of bed was to hard.

Being in Florida will be a part of my life that I will look back and remember fondly.

I am excited for our new life. I am ready for it, and feel like it comes at a good time for me. I feel like all the things that I have learned here in Florida has prepared me for what is to come. There will be new highs and lows and I will be ready for it and embrace it all.

The next time I post it will be from North Carolina, it will be from a new time in my life, and it will be from the new adventure that I am having.

Tim Says

Tim: "Mom, do I have to kiss my wife?"

Me: "Well... I think she might want you too"

Tim: "I'll just buy her a Slurpee instead"

{I think for his wedding I'll bring in a Slurpee machine}

A Bitter Sweet Ending

We are coming to the end of our time here in Florida. I knew it was coming, this was never meant to be a permanent place, I knew we were leaving and even looking forward to it, but now that it is here I am truly sad that the time has come.

When we rolled into Florida in mid-August it was hot and muggy. I probably would have had a better attitude toward living in here had we not arrived in the hottest part of the year. Really, I was miserable and hot. I am still not a fan of the Florida summers {between the heat and the hurricane season....} but the winters are pretty mild, and a great time to be outside. I have learned to love each season for what it is, and with the changing of the weather {however slight} comes something to look forward too}

The first year that we were here was a hard one for me. I had met a couple people, but didn't have any close friends. There wasn't anyone that I could talk to, or plan things with. I was homeschooling the boys for the first time and not having any outside friends for them made it really hard.

Looking back, I really needed that year of feeling alone. I learned so much about homeschooling the boys, I learned so much about myself. I really needed that time for me. I feel like I grew so much and am much more confident in the person that I am today because of it. I learned to rely on my Heavenly Father, and He taught me so many things.

The boys grew so much while we were here. They were all so young, closer to babies, when we got here. Now with James being closer to becoming a young man it makes me sad that the time went so fast. I have so many good memories of our time here with them, but I know that some wonderful days have passed and they have been forgotten.

I have many friends now, and leaving them is breaking my heart. I have really met some incredible women. I will miss them so much. And the beach.... I will miss the waves and the sand and the freedom of being in the water gives

I know that it is time for us to go. And I am so excited about the new adventures that we will have in North Carolina, but I will miss my time here.