Let them figure it out

So the other day I took the boys to McDonalds for lunch, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. We were having a really good day, but it was a little cold for the park. So we had finished eat ting and the boys were playing and I was just sitting and watching them while listening to the conversations going on around me. {Yes I totally eavesdrop to what people are saying.. don't you?} Anyway, I look up and I see some lady scolding him for hitting.

Now I'm not the type of mom to hover over the kids. When the boys fall, unless they are bleeding I just tell them to brush it off. And on the play ground I just let them have at it and if they fall, they'll learn to be more careful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to let them do anything to stupid, but if Tim wants to climb to the top with his brothers, then by all means... he'll figure it out sooner or later. I think that most kids will figure problems out amonst each other if given the chance.

So back to Tommy and this lady... I look up and see her and so I focus on that and I hear her saying "Little boy we don't hit." So now I perk up because Tommy doesn't hit unless someone hits him first. Oh, he provokes things and there are times when he does deserve it, but he doesn't just hit out of no where. I lean over to see Tommy and I hear him say "he was kicking my brother"

So at this time I have to admit I was having a proud mother moment. Tommy was sticking up for Tim and was not going to let some kid kick his brother.

Here's a question for you... are you the hovering mom? Or do you let your kids figure things out on their own? Now I don't advocate kicking or hitting, {and Tommy and I had a talk after the fact about hitting others} but really what do you expect a {almost} 4 year old to do. Sit down and have a conversation about why kicking is not nice with another 4 year old? I mean really..... See I think we need to let kids figure things out by themselves, we don't always need to step in. {And besides... boys will beat the tar out of each other and then be best friends}

I guess the point of this is that I think we live in a hovering society. I think it's good for kids to try things out and I think it's ok to let them fall. And I think it's ok to let kids figure things out with each other. So if your kid comes to my house know that I will watch them but unless there is an all out brawl I'm going to let the boys work things out them self. Most of the time they come out better in the end anyway....