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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Gaining Perspective

The husband was in the military for 6 years and while he was serving over seas or while he was away on training I got many comments from other women on how strong I was and that having their husband away was something that they could never do.

Now I'm on the other side of it all. Many of my friends have husbands who are deployed  now and I stand in awe of them.

I know that Heavenly Father stands with the military wife... strengthening her during deployments to handle the house, the children, the stress of day to day life.

I think in the military wife there is a switch that is turned off. It's the "missing you" switch. Not that they don't miss their husband, but there is not anything that can be done about it. The Army says go and you go. There are no questions.

Now I'm in the position of just a regular civilian wife, and when the husband goes it's a choice that he has. The "missing you" switch turns on and I becomes that girl. The one that can't stand her husband being gone for days at a time. I think I deal with it better because of my past experiences but still....

This really has been something new to me. And learning to deal with it has been weird. I never knew that I could miss the husband as much as I do when he is gone. {like I said... before it's a switch that is turned off}.

I just thought I would throw that out there. I guess I understand now when girls cry that their husbands are gone for a total of 48 hours. I still think it's silly, but I get it.


James and Shawna said...

Isn't that a funny thing? There are times I feel like this deployment is easier than James working nights like he did the year before he left. I think because I'm in the middle of it, though, there are times when this is worse, but all in all, I totally agree. And, you're allowed.

EmilieAn said...

Wow that's really interesting. I wonder if that would happen to me if Kemper ever gets out. It didn't bother me at all before he joined and was gone either....but I'm a whole lotta different kinda woman. I'm sorry that you can't work that switch like you used to. I love you.

Jen said...

Suck it up!! (hee hee hee)

I think you hit the nail right on the head. It's HIS choice this time therefore he SHOULD have the converse choice which is to be there with you.

HOWEVER, having said that - is Steve really CHOSING to be away? If he's out playing D&D with his buddies, then yeah. If he's studying for midterms, then no, he doesn't really have a choice. He HAS to do what he's doing to a) finish school and b) start his career so he can provide for his family. It doesn't really help the "missing you" switch, but perhaps it does help with the "Why aren't you coming home to do more than shower and sleep" switch.

Just so you know, I'm still in awe of you. There is NO WAY I could be so supportive of and patient with a husband with a totally new career plan, 3+ years of school and a completely altered lifestyle and then have a fourth baby besides. You're AWESOME!

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