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Thursday, April 10, 2014

In the end, it was all worth it

 This boy.

He was a hard one for me. His birth was wonderful and everything that I wanted, but in the weeks that followed were pure hell.

The postpartum was the worst that I have ever had.

Swim cried a lot. He only slept if I was holding him, or walking him, or I had to hold him until he fell asleep. He cried almost all the time. If I put him down and left the room he would cry until I came back and would hold him again. He would scream in his bed in the morning until I would come and get him.

Looking back I can understand the reasons, but while I was in the middle of it it was hard. Not long after he was born we moved from North Carolina to Utah. He was just 3 months and his world was rocked. We stayed with my parents once we got to Utah and we were in their house for about 3 months and then again his world was rocked as we moved into the house we are at now. He didn't trust anything, or anyone... I don't really blame him.

Since we have been more stable this boy has turned from a sad, crying child into the funnest little boy. He walks around with a smile on his face all day. He giggles all the time. He babbles to me all the time. If I happen to not be paying attention to him he will climb up and touch my face, or cling onto my legs until I bend down so he can say what he needs to say. Not in words yet... all babbling it's really cute.

And bed time is a breeze now. I can give him his blanket, and sing a song to him {he likes "Teach Me to Walk in the Light"} and put him down to sleep. And not only that... but he wakes up so happy.

I love this little guy so much. I feel so bad that the first year or so was so hard for him. I did the best that I knew how, I wish I could have comforted him more, but I would go through all the crying and sleepless nights, and even the postpartum that I had to have the boy I have now.

He is such a joy to me, and makes me so happy.

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