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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Let them figure it out

So the other day I took the boys to McDonalds for lunch, it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. We were having a really good day, but it was a little cold for the park. So we had finished eat ting and the boys were playing and I was just sitting and watching them while listening to the conversations going on around me. {Yes I totally eavesdrop to what people are saying.. don't you?} Anyway, I look up and I see some lady scolding him for hitting.

Now I'm not the type of mom to hover over the kids. When the boys fall, unless they are bleeding I just tell them to brush it off. And on the play ground I just let them have at it and if they fall, they'll learn to be more careful. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to let them do anything to stupid, but if Tim wants to climb to the top with his brothers, then by all means... he'll figure it out sooner or later. I think that most kids will figure problems out amonst each other if given the chance.

So back to Tommy and this lady... I look up and see her and so I focus on that and I hear her saying "Little boy we don't hit." So now I perk up because Tommy doesn't hit unless someone hits him first. Oh, he provokes things and there are times when he does deserve it, but he doesn't just hit out of no where. I lean over to see Tommy and I hear him say "he was kicking my brother"

So at this time I have to admit I was having a proud mother moment. Tommy was sticking up for Tim and was not going to let some kid kick his brother.

Here's a question for you... are you the hovering mom? Or do you let your kids figure things out on their own? Now I don't advocate kicking or hitting, {and Tommy and I had a talk after the fact about hitting others} but really what do you expect a {almost} 4 year old to do. Sit down and have a conversation about why kicking is not nice with another 4 year old? I mean really..... See I think we need to let kids figure things out by themselves, we don't always need to step in. {And besides... boys will beat the tar out of each other and then be best friends}

I guess the point of this is that I think we live in a hovering society. I think it's good for kids to try things out and I think it's ok to let them fall. And I think it's ok to let kids figure things out with each other. So if your kid comes to my house know that I will watch them but unless there is an all out brawl I'm going to let the boys work things out them self. Most of the time they come out better in the end anyway....


Connie said...

Ha ha- I love this post. I would definitely be accused of being a hovering mom when it comes to safety. Like if Levi wanted to climb to the top of the big kid jungle gym, you bet I'd be right there. I don't like spending time or money in the ER! But little fights and stuff, I'm with you 100%. Let the kids work it out amongst themselves. I'd have to step in if some kid was punching my kids, but generally, I think they need to learn how to resolve conflicts themselves.

Future Mama said...

Love your new layout! Stopping by from SITS!

And I think it's ok to be hovering.. sometimes! I'm not a mom yet but I imagine I'll be that way with my little boys :)

Tabitha Blue/Fresh Mommy said...

Oh goodness, why'd you have to go and ask this question! LOL. I'm probably more of a hovering mom than not. I have a little girl, with another kiddo on the way... maybe I'll be different if I end up having a boy. I'm much less of a hovering mom now though, that she's two. Now that she walks and run and climb without falling, I pretty much let her be, just keep an eye on her from the benches! Haha

Julie said...

I try not to hover. I'm more guilty of it that I should be. I would have been fuming at the lady..I'm just that way. I hate when people take upon themselves to talk to my kids like that.
Nice layout..bTW

Mimi said...

I try not to be hovering. My oldest is almost 17 & I want to lock him in his room so I can "protect" him from life!

Terri said...

Amen. Amen. Amen. Well said.

Amanda said...

Stopping by from SITS.

I am with you on the hovering thing. I try to let my kids work things out and try things on their own. They are 2 and 3. I do steer them clear of harm.

If they are fighting over a toy I try to see if they will work it out by themselves. I do watch to see that one of them doesn't start bullying the other. More often that not they will work thought it by themselves. The fight is over in 30 seconds.

Ms Cupcake said...

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Stuart and Heather said...

I love this post! I do not hover either, and I think my kids are better for it. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) who hovers like crazy, and anytime her kids get the smallest bump, or have the littlest problem, it is water works for a good 30 minutes. No, I'm not exaggerating. Her daughter fell off a kid chair onto her diaperd bottom, and cried for a full 20 minutes. All I can say to her is "Good luck when they are teenagers!"

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